Saturday, August 24, 2013

Identity questions for a 28 Birthday gift


Happy Birthday to me! I turned 28 last week and what did I do for my birthday? I was at work at my new PT job, Goodwill cashier. This leads me to my annual self evaluation. This past year I've moved from a dank house living alone until family crisis then living with my beloved in a ....full place....to finally moving to a quaint place in Glendale alone with PB and our cats. Some who know me personally or really just read my twitter feed I gave in half way and got a wig to apply for jobs. I applied to one place with dyed black hair and sort of got the job. It took 3 months before I got a call back and by then I had given up only to dye my hair to its's natural pink. I went into that job at LB as a food runner with my new wig and worked as long as I could. Honestly one of the worst jobs I've had; no breaks and lax management. Not even any balls to out right fire me but left me off the schedule for 3 weeks with my name still there. Before I even quit I was looking for another job that wouldn't make me cry every day. I applied to Goodwill not expecting to hear back at all but low and behold they liked me being me. 

I really like my job a month after working there. You can't go wrong if you just do your job. All I do all shift is hang clothes,clean fitting rooms and cashier. No hierarchy ass kissing,no up selling, no taking bull shit from customers being aggressive with wanting discounts. Thats another blog maybe hahaha. The only thing I have to get shit about here is how I look. I don't know if it's just retail (being that I mainly work in food jobs or art jobs) or if it's concentrated stupid. 

I know what I think the reasons are that dyed hair is not "Professional" yet tattoos and piercings are A-OK. I got 1 very shallow reason by asking on facebook (as to be expected) about conservatism and "sloppiness". Tho again,if you know me in person you know I am a clean freak,fashion maniac who takes better care of her hair than a hair stylist. (I need beautiful hair...I NEED IT). Aside from that there are even those who have an alt look and are not lucky enough to work at places that accept it. The only professionals with dyed hair I was pointed out that were professional were Lady Gaga,Katy Perry and Nikki Minaj. I admire them all of course but they are singers/performers. Also business women and focused, yet ARE they thought of as professional? I want to think so. That doesn't even touch on the tangled issues of being "weird" while a person of color (POC). Speaking of which...

I do like boxes,I am a cat. I DON'T like labels tho.

The obvious thing I get most is people speaking Spanish at me. Yes AT me. The customer starts asking me a thing in Spanish and because of my limited knowledge in the language I say I'm sorry I don't speak Spanish but how can I help them. 

I get 1 or more of the following reactions:
  1. Oh but you're name is Christina. It's Spanish!
  2. Christina (with heavy accent on my name followed by a scowl or quizzical look)
  3. But you are Mexican right? 
  4. You're kidding me! (continues speaking Spanish ignoring my objection.)
  5. Whats wrong with you?
  6. Where are you from?
I've heard varying versions of these through out my life. I was even told at 1 job that I had a few years back by a server "hahaha remember English Only!". Apparently they thought,like many,that all Latino people speak Spanish no matter what. Lets just give everyone the benefit of the doubt and let them assume that,but if someone says they do not speak that certain language please respect that answer and don't try to bully them into speaking it. 

Everyone's experiences are different to why they didn't learn Spanish. In my case I'm surprised I have any culture beyond basic American. My siblings and I were forbidden by our grandpa from learning Spanish until we knew English perfectly. My grandma was born and raised in Nebraska and basically only spoke fluent English and a little Spanish at home. She is the one who raised  us and put more importance on graduating school than learning Spanish or even preserving our supposed culture. I say supposed because all I can remember keeping up was beans with bacon and fried tacos. Those are not Mexican at all by the way,thats an American adaptation. 

I'm still in the midst of questioning if I belong to any culture let alone if I should take up one that I'm supposed to be apart of. I know nothing about it but being harassed about why I can't fit into it by said culture. Like having kids before I'm 30 or being Catholic,or fearing my significant other...(Maybe one day I'll talk about that....but fuck that shit anymore). 

Sorry to burst anyone's bubble but I don't like babies. This is how I wish it was to have a baby,an adorable kitten who at the age of 3 or whatever age babies stop looking like larva,turns into a human child looking child. If you also didn't know already I'm a Humanist,monogamist Pansexual.

So what did we learn? Stop,listen and basic human respect. 

1 comment:

Tomas Antila said...

I really love this picture. You look so cute as a cat-mom!